Wow, this movie.
The success of the Fast & Furious films has always vexed me a little bit. I mean, the first three installments at least were basically like the Step Up or Bring It On films for cars. They're all about the same thing, with a new dynamic each film. The evolution of the series has led to better films in context, but all follow a similar pattern. For instance:
- The Fast and the Furious: We drive fast cars and are criminals!
- 2 Fast 2 Furious: We drive fast cars and are in such a horrible movie that I haven't even finished it yet!
- Fast and the Furious - Tokyo Drift: We drive fast cars whilst being Asian!
- Fast and Furious: Vengeance whilst driving fast cars!
- Fast Five: Stealing shit by driving fast cars!
The unfortunate thing about FF6 is that it had to follow Fast Five, which was inarguably the best film of the series. It brought in some new faces, new elements and changed the entire tone of the series from gimmick films about street racing to a legit action film series that happened to feature street racing. Now, while FF6 does keep up with this new direction, it does not live up to the expectations of Fast Five in terms of quality, story, or characters. If you're looking for a completely silly movie that you don't have to spend a second thinking about, this is your jam. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but it wasn't the best it could be.
The story is 90's action at its best. The crew of outlaws is recruited by a law enforcement officer to help catch another outlaw considered to be a far worse evil, and in return they are offered pardons for their crimes. It's fun, but it's been done. It also raises a lot of questions about how action film writers view law enforcement. This guy is stealing stuff and I can't catch him, so naturally I go get help from GUYS WHO STEAL STUFF? It would be different if the recruiting party was a private one and not civil-fucking-servants, but the fact that Vin and company are wanted for several high class crimes, in several countries, and doing one thing will exonerate them all from everything states that Hollywood has little-to-no respect or knowledge regarding police procedure, or common sense for that matter. There are a lot of other things that could have been offered without letting the crew who has stolen hundreds of millions of dollars off the hook. If I was Rock in this scenario and the crew was like 'we want full pardons', I would have laughed, kicked Vin in the balls, and offered not to tell the entire world where they were holed up. Then I would Rock Bottom Paul Walker through a table. Because I would be The Rock.
Speaking of the cast, is it just me or are the careers of every person in this movie who are not The Rock on life support? Seriously, there was a time when Vin Diesel and Paul Walker were seen as big time future Hollywood. Walker was in that 'I'm an actor because I'm handsome' category of talent that damn near guaranteed leading man status. Vin Diesel was the next bona fide action star a la Schwarzenegger and Stallone. Between 2000 and 2002 he had three action franchises up and running: XXX, Fast & Furious, and the Riddick films. XXX fizzled out because it was retarded. The Chronicles of Riddick was a CGI-fest that fell flat, and was uninspired in comparison to Pitch Black, one of my favourite Sci-Fi films of all time. The only thing that either Vinny or Paul have going for them right now is this franchise, running 12 years strong. The same goes for most of the rest of the cast. I don't follow the rap scene very closely, but is Ludacris still a thing? The only music of his that I've heard recently has been on Fast & Furious soundtracks. Tyrese Gibson has literally done nothing but these films and the Transformers movies. Michelle Rodriguez's completely ridiculous return to the series is the first time I've seen her since FF4, and before that it was either FF1 or SWAT. And those are the big names of the franchise.
The Rock's character, Hobbs, was maybe the biggest disappointment for me in this film. In Fast Five he was a fucking boss. Not a true antagonist, but the standard 'cop who's out for the good guys because they're criminals' stereotype. It worked because he was: a) good at his job; and 2) intimidating as fuck. And not just because he's fucking huge, but because of how he carries himself: as the guy who is in charge and the last guy with whom to fuck. In this film, he loses all of those qualities except for the being huge part. Not only is he buddy-buddy with the guy he was taking a wrench to in the previous installment, but he's a pushover and a fucking HORRIBLE cop. It was weird because this series is surprisingly good with continuity for the most part, but somewhere between Fast Five and Furious 6 (or whatever) he turned into the privileged kid who wants to be part of the cool kids group. He'll do anything for them as long as he gets to hang out. You're better than that, Rock. You're the most electrifying man in whatever whatever, not the fat kid in school that has a pool.
Mentioning the careers of the cast being on life support is interesting, because it's the only weakpoint for anyone in this movie. Everyone takes damage like a fucking champ, and it's one of the most entertaining and maddening things about this movie. This has been a thing in other installments, but there was still some concern for the well being of anyone caught in a life threatening situation. That goes out the goddamn window here, or in this case, through the windshield. There were many, many, many awesome action scenes in this movie, and there's no way that any main character should have survived any of them. Not by a long shot. Vin Diesel in particular has got to be a real life superhero for the punishment he just shrugs off. The only thing I can think of is that the Fast and Furious films now see people like Dungeons & Dragons does. For those of you who aren't fantastically huge nerds, D&D characters have a set amount of hit points or HP and when they run out, you're dead. There's no really injury or grey area, you're either dead or you're not. I'm assuming the same principle is applied here. As long as Diesel has one HP left, he can survive being thrown from a speeding vehicle and have his fall broken by another speeding vehicle and walk away unscathed. Yep, makes perfect sense.
Just so we're clear, I know I'm reading WAY too much into this. The retardedness of action movies and their applications of things like physics is about as far off as their understanding of computer use. It's been this way for approximately forever, and I honestly hope it never changes. I had a really good time with this movie, and I need to stress that because I have just spent several paragraphs contradicting that sentiment. I laughed my way through FF6, regardless of whether that was the desired reaction from the film makers. It's just an over-the-top, flashy popcorn movie that is just on the wrong side of ridiculous. The film also provides a solid lead up to a seventh installment, and I would honestly buy a ticket for it right the hell now. I do hope the series keeps doing well, because there's no way Vin Diesel has any other marketable skills and while I have high hopes for the new Riddick movie coming out in the fall, it will not be the money maker that these movies tend to be. Any fans of the series will enjoy this film quite a bit, I think, along with any film buff with a taste for the ridiculous.
But for the love of God, do not try these stunts at home.
Knight Owl
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