Three Reasons Why Bryan Singer Is The Worst

In case you weren't aware, Bryan Singer is the worst.

Pictured: The Enemy.

Stay with me.

X-Men: Days Of Future Past comes out this week, and I'm less than excited about it. I've made my dislike for the X-films rather plain, so much so that my inaugural blog post was regarding the film franchise. To save you the time reading it, it's largely negative save for X-Men: First Class, the only entry not directed by Singer or featuring a mouthless Deadpool.

Since the announcement that DOFP would be directed by Singer and would be a return to form for the franchise, I've been cringing at every trailer, poster, and mere mention of the film. I don't have high hopes for it, and am especially disappointed considering how much I liked Matthew Vaughn's efforts in First Class. I would have liked to see what he could have done with what this film would have been. I will gladly eat my boot if DOFP ends up being my favourite film of the year (currently Captain America 2, BTW), but the current trailers depict just a whole bunch of sad. Like, Requiem For A Dream kind of sad. Forgive me for not being jacked.

So, back to Singer. There have been a great many little things which put together have developed my hatred for him, but there are now three focal points that I feel everyone, if not every film or comic geek, can get behind, and I feel responsible in sharing these points with you. I try to keep my annoyance with said little things out of it, as they seem extra trivial in this already trivial argument against Singer. Nevertheless, I feel that some shade needs to be thrown in the direction of this so-called A-list director as what might be his biggest commercial success is about to hit theatres. Why? Because fuck Bryan Singer, that's why.

1. Superman Returns. Now sure, the movie was one of the shittier comic book movies ever made, but there are a whole bunch of reasons why the events surrounding this POS reveal Singer's douchebaggery. The year was 2004, and Singer et al were coming off the heels of X2's tremendous success. All involved were already in discussion to move on to what would become X-Men 3: The Last Stand and the contracts were all but signed when Warner Bros came knocking for Singer, offering up Superman. Singer not only took the job immediately and unceremoniously told Fox and Marvel to go screw themselves, he took his entire creative team as well as one of the X-franchise's stars (James Marsden) with him. He left the franchise a mess, only to be cleaned up by Brett Ratner, resulting in what would be a lackluster effort. Superman Returns isn't much better of a film, which basically ended up being a two-hour long, $50 million circle jerk for Richard Donner's original Superman film, as opposed to, you know, an original effort. A recycled plot, stupidly boring, with a ridiculous sub-plot surrounding Supes' illegitimate child, and maybe the worst female lead in any comic book film ever. Including Jennifer Garner's Elektra. If not for a considerable effort by newcomer Brandon Routh and the obscene amount of scenery chewing done by Kevin Fucking Spacey, this movie would be unwatchable. I don't know who made the decision to bring Singer back to X-Men, but the past decade has shown that the franchise is the only thing that Singer has going for him other than The Usual Suspects. No amount of eyepatch-wearing Tom Cruise or CGI Giants have helped Singer's career more than the first two X-films, and if everything plays out for the best, DOFP will bring much needed life into his sad life.  
2. “Fuck Continuity”. The X-Men comic books have always been absolutely terrible with continuity. Character deaths. Time travel. Roster changes. In my opinion, the X-titles are so hard to follow even now that they're borderline parody. But, that's after like 50 years of publication. There's going to be some inconsistencies. I get it, and can accept it. There is no excuse for a handful of films to suffer the same flaw. From X-Men to First Class, the amount of glaring contradictions is so high that I had insisted that First Class wasn't even in the same continuity as the original films, and was a straight up reboot a la Amazing Spider Man. Apparently, I am incorrect in that assumption. So Jennifer Lawrence and Rebecca Romijn are the same person? Because that makes no sense if you look at Mystique's relationship with Professor X. Or Xavier's relationship with Magneto. Or even when he loses his ability to walk. And that's just Xavier. Singer's reintroduction to the franchise and his merging of the original trilogy with First Class has created a contradictory nightmare. His response? He hopes the fans are stupid enough to forget about it. In an interview with SciFiNow, he is quoted in saying that he “really hopes the audience will forget about” the blatant inconsistencies present in the series, while also whole heartedly admiting that they exist. That makes Singer a lazy piece of shit. It would be different if he went out of his way to movie-science the problems away (time travel!), but nope, he's too busy dealing with 'other things' (see point #3) to make any of this make sense. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
3. So, Singer MIGHT be a rapist. Holy shit. When I first heard about the case being brought against Singer by a young man who claims to have been sexually assaulted by the director, I took it with a huge grain of salt. The timing was definitely suspect, with DOFP coming up and Singer prominent in the film's press and fixing to make a killing off of the movie. If that was all there was to it, it's a pretty weak case. BUT there are a couple little things that make the case somewhat more substantial. First, that Marc Collins-Rector was another person named by the victim, who has already plead guilty in 2004 of luring minors across state lines for sex and is now a registered sex offender. There is a noted relationship between Collins-Rector and Singer, so this could be seen as fishy to say the least. Then, a second accusation came from a new victim, claiming that Singer, amongst others, sexually victimized him when he was 17, around the time Superman Returns was released. Jesus Christ. If that's not enough, we have Bret Easton Ellis. Ellis is a popular author best known for writing American Psycho, and currently hosts his own podcast. On a recent episode of said podcast with True Blood showrunner Alan Ball, they got to talking about Singer's predicament and some knowledge got dropped about the parties where these supposed attacks took place. The following is a quote from Ellis: Out here everyone kind of knows about the parties and uh, the kind of underage boys. In fairness, Ellis also goes on to comment on the suspicious timing of the accusations, with DOFP coming out. Even so, it doesn't sound favourable on Singer, regardless of the truth behind the accusations. Light is being shed on elements of Singer's life that I'm sure he would rather keep in the dark. Part of me truly hopes that this is all a bullshit attempt at a money grab and that Singer isn't guilty of what's being claimed. But if it's true...if Singer is in fact guilty of this kind of sexual deviance, he's a despicable human being on top of being an overrated, mediocre film maker and that is something I simply cannot abide. 

Will I see Days of Future Past? Yeah, probably. I don't feel like I've earned the right to criticize something unless I've given it a shot. That principle is why I've seen Twilight. I don't have high expectations for it, but I'm willing to be surprised. Singer's involvement definitely influences my lack of excitement, the reasons listed being only the most glaring slights committed by the director. My opinions of him will not change if he just so happens to not be a rapist of underage boys, but it wouldn't worsen either. I just wanted to express my feeling going into the film this weekend, and wanted whatever readers I have left to be aware. Constant vigilance and all that.

Bryan Singer. This fucking guy. 

Knight Owl.