Reviewing 'The Avengers' Part One: Achievement Unlocked

...and we're back! Sorry about the lack of a post from last week, faithful reader(s)(?). If one were to put blame on my late post (and I will), the responsibility falls on three things:

1. Random Shit (i.e. 'Life')
2. Work
3. Final Fantasy 7

Yes, I have finally put some significant time into a console RPG for the first time, 15 years too late as it turns out. But Super Mario 64-level graphics notwithstanding, and my constant and desperate search for a save point persistently unfulfilled, the game is quite awesome (as per what everyone who has ever played the game has told me), but I digress.

I suppose an additional reason for my absence can be attributed to the subject of this post, a little movie that I have now seen 3 times, with more viewings to come: Joss Whedon's Disney's Marvel's THE MOTHERFUCKING AVENGERS!

My wait for this event (make no mistake, this is no mere movie, people) began with a viewing of Iron Man in 2008 upon opening night, after a nice 3-or-so hour wait in the mall among friends because of my overzealous desire to make sure both tickets and decent seats were attained (I REGRET NOTHING). After an awesome 2 hours, we were subjected to an extra treat after the credits, where Jules Winfield sans afro, avec eyepatch informs both Tony Stark and the audience that the Avengers is officially a thing that is happening. Cue blown mind.

This became a pattern over the next 4 years of Marvel movies, except Ghost Rider cuz fuck that guy. We, the audience, would be subjected to a good-to-great comic-to-film adaptation, followed by PSA about THIS PERSON IS GOING TO BE AN AVENGER in so many words. It sucked. Straight up, it was bullshit, mostly because meanwhile, on Earth That Is, the actual film was in some sort of developmental limbo because of 1) costs and 2) a lack of leadership because Captain America is neither real nor a film director. No one wanted, or could manage, a large-scale, high-budget film as unprecedented as Avengers, and those who would couldn't be bought with what was left after RDJ and SLJ got their $$$.

Enter the Chosen One: Joss Whedon. He was perfect. A skilled but unestablished-in-the-mainstream writer and director, who happened to also be a legendary fanboy and specialized in working with larger casts. It was truly brilliant in its simplicity.

Things only got better when Whedon showed up on the sets of Avengers platforms 'Thor' and 'Captain America: The First Avenger...that wasn't even on the team until long after it was established' and said "FUCK THIS SCRIPT"* and helped to re-write the scripts of both movies to better fit his, as the films would all be revealed to be very closely related. As far as I know, Whedon didn't even want a writing credit for the changes, because fuck Edward Norton (but that's a story for another time).

And so the board was set for the endgame that had been built up for 4 years. To say that the hype behind this movie was 'substantial' is so understating that you should frankly be ashamed of yourself. It was the culmination of, and maybe even the reason for, several films that preceded it, including:

Iron Man
Iron Man 2
The Incredible Hulk (kinda, sorta...)
Captain America: The First Avenger
Thor

...and through these movies, the cast was established and expanded to include Nick 'Bad Mother Fucker' Fury, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. Basically, if you weren't invested in this movie, you never will be. And if you were, you knew that this movie couldn't be anything but the absolute best. I ended up being more invested in the film's quality than most, for one simple reason: May 4th, 2012 absolutely SUCKED for me from 7:00am to approximately 10:00pm. Here's the thing, though...I remember nothing from that day now, except that I saw this movie.

So, yeah, The Avengers fucking delivers on every single level. I'm usually accepting of the opinions of others, but if you were overly unsatisfied by this movie, either take the stick out of your ass or get to a therapist for a prescription for whatever pills make you not sad, because there's something wrong with you. First off, the movie looks fantastic, probably better than any of its predecessors. The action scenes were surprisingly clear considering everything going on throughout the scenes, getting away from the up-close, 'What was that? Was that an arm?', Michael Bay-like kind of action that high-scale popcorn movies tend to force-feed the audience. The great visuals continue onto the depictions of the characters themselves. For example, the Hulk has never looked better than in this film. Of course he was going to be heavy CG because hey, Lou Ferrigno and green body paint were not going to work for this (it would have made the Eric Bana-led Hulk movie WAY better though).

The story wasn't as linear as the average action movie, but it fit. Through every viewing I felt as though I was reading a comic book. The pacing, the shifting points of view, and the exchanging dialogue were as reminiscent of a comic book as a movie can get, unless you're Zack Snyder, who basically copy-and-pastes comic book panels onto storyboards while telling Gerard Butler to punt someone down a hole whilst debating the differences between Madness and Sparta.

The true strength in this film, like every other Whedon-written work, lies in the characters themselves. It helps that most of the characters have had at least a two-hour window to develop during previous movies, but they still take on a separate identity when forced to interact with each other. Considering the cast is made up of Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Chris 'LOL Human Torch' Evans, and Chris 'I was in Star Trek for 2 minutes hurrdurr' Hemsworth, the acting in this movie was absolutely fantastic all around, with Tom Hiddleston's Loki and Edward Norton Mark Ruffalo stealing many of the scenes they were part of.  I was also very surprised by how much I loved the Hulk's appearance in this film considering his former appearances in his own work. Previously, Hulk was depicted as somewhat melodramatic and straight up unfun for a huge green rage monster. Avengers changes all that and turns Hulk into said monster who then develops a sense of humor of sorts, bringing in a not-too-subtle slapstick element to an already entertaining experience.

Were there problems with this movie? Sure, but mostly due to my fanboy anal-retentiveness did I even notice them. The 2-1/2 hour length didn't bother me at all. I mean, seriously how else was this getting pulled off? Biggest problem: Where was the catchphrase I've either been saying or hearing for weeks before the movie debuted: AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!? There is no real phrase for any individual involved here, save for 'Hulk Smash,' which made a cameo appearance. Why not throw it in there? Problem #2: Cap looked rediculous. Not the uniform so much, just the mask. In his movie, the mask was a helmet that not only looked fine but had a practical purpose. There was no need for him to be wearing this half-fabric, half-plastic, painted-on-wings horse shit, but realizing the outcry that would have taken place were he to wear nothing on his head, this is probably the better option.

The only other thing bugging me takes the form of a slightly glaring plot hole that I can't see past. Before the climax in New York, Hulk and Thor get separated from the group and each other, and yet somehow, with no method of communication between them, they both show up in New York to Assemble. Midfight, Thor flies in from out of nowhere and later on, Banner putt-putts in on what looks like the shitty bike Peter Parker had in Spider Man 2.

What in the Seven Hells did I miss?

To think about it, there are perfectly plausible ways to explain how the two deux-ex-machinaed their way into the climax, and I won't really get into them to avoid further spoilers, but it takes little effort to throw some extra info the audience's way to clarify the goings-on.

In conclusion (but not really), Whedon and Co. pulled off what many thought impossible, and did it with seeming ease; and, as far as I am concerned, mindblowing success and accuracy. If you haven't seen this movie, go...NOW. If you have, see it again, because I have enjoyed it more and more with every viewing and have caught something new every time. I heart this movie. I'll have a Part Two coming up addressing what should happen now, considering I believe that this film and its success will be changing the game considerably.

Knight Owl

*Paraphrased